Toxic non supportive bosses, why’s my boss so unhelpful?

Toxic, non supportive female bosses, why are they so unhelpful?

Last week I was having a conversation with a mummy friend about non supportive female bosses.  And this got me thinking, why there seems to be a lack of sisterhood in the office, especially at the top of organisations.

Life at the top – can very lonely for some

It made me wonder why only 6.4% of women hold a CEO position in FTSE 500 companies. Were these women supported in their journeys or was it a struggle for them?  Were they too, faced with unsympathetic management styles?  We know that often those who are bullied typically become bullies.

This piece is not an excuse for such behaviours, but more written to gain insight.  As knowledge is power right?   And power enables you to battle through any challenge.

The psychopaths of the boardroom

This got me thinking about the personality traits of senior management across the genders.  And it led me to Dr Hare’s work; he’s a criminal psychologist and developed the Hare Psychopathy Checklist.  He researched a link between psychopaths within the boardroom.  He found senior managers personality characteristics to the likes of, or on the spectrum of Ted Bunty’s.  Wanna read more see link here

Nah that’s not right!

Sounds strange huh? But yes manipulative, lacking empathy, emotional shallowness, callousness, unwillingness to accept responsibility for actions, a tendency to boredom, lack of behavioural control, basically anti-social office behaviours balanced with creativity, singled mindedness and genius is often what it takes to make your way up to the top of organisations.  Go have a watch of Misery and see if you can spot traits of Annie Wilkes behaviour in your boss.

I’ve worked hard for this shit… therefore so should you!

Colleagues, I’ve worked with; have often complained to me, they’ve had to make lots of sacrifices.  I’ve sat through many of coffee breaks where they’ve explained personal battles and challenges for them to reach their positions and how the next generation seem to take for granted the level of hard work and sacrifices involved.

But what these managers don’t seem to appreciate is the rapid change in technology and the ways of work, access and speed to information, plus communication has had an impact on progress –making the workforce younger 30s as opposed to 40 or 50s.  And this can be intimidating for managers, knowing their junior staff knows or has more skills than themselves.

We have also seen the rapid change in social acceptability, laws and technology

My grandmother once told me, she would take her 6 year old son to the library and leave him there surrounded by books and a packed lunch, as she had to go to work and had no one to look after him.  No wonder he became a brain box scientist [surrounded by those books every school holiday].  Today this would be considered as child abuse and you’d be frog marched off to social services.  This sort of behaviour would not be considered socially acceptable.  I certainly won’t be doing this!

In today’s society the balance between work and life has shifted/disappeared, it’s a dichotomy given the rapid change in laws and technology.   We’re working harder not smarter.  It’s difficult to switch off: what with your work phone, home computer, 24 hours conference calls ability and timeless or endless working hours.  And this endless toll of work does wonders for our stress levels and our abilities to be rational sympathetic human beings and good communicators.

Getting the best out of your boss

I could use this post to list all the reasons for this non collaborative approach of working.  Because I find that understanding why things are the way they are, helps to address these challenges. In order to move mountains and to get to that next level of where we want to be in our careers we need to work together: think A team.

We have seen brilliant examples in history and in fiction (Marvel films) where working collectively supports the greater good and bigger picture.

We also have some wonderful, creative role models.  I’m going to name a few that I look up to, Oprah, Chi Chi Nwanoku,  Chimamanda Adichie Richard Branson to name but a few.

Why this post.

At Nariva Boutique we’re all about keeping things light, helping you to feel freer and more inspired.  We know you work bloody hard and want you to be able to switch off a little.  Enjoy your cup of [you fill in the blank here] and be inspired to be the very best that you can be.

We only live once, so really need to make sure we are surrounded by the things we love doing, as well as grabbing that time for ourselves.

Next post within this series is going to look at how to handle tricky personalities at work.  Stay tuned, comment below we would love to hear from you?